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Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Ellie Goulding for Self Magazine July 2014
On dealing with panic attacks when she is in the spotlight: “I was torn between that really simple life and this life of madness. My brain was getting all these crazy signals, and I’d have these faux heart attacks that felt real. There was so much adrenaline being pumped into my body that, in any normal situation, I felt as if I had to fight or flee. On my way to the studio, I’d have to cover my face in the car with a pillow. I couldn’t shop, couldn’t go outside, couldn’t see people, because there were just so many triggers. And I didn’t want to tell anyone, because I just felt so stupid. I never wanted people to see me as weak.”
On dating Dougie Poynter: “I’ve definitely met someone. You get to know someone who makes you very happy and then you go away [on tour], right when it was just getting somewhere awesome. It’s not fun, but we can make it work. Love is beyond everything, beyond the universe.”
On being a singer: “I always liked singing, but it never occurred to me that it could be a real job. So when people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I’d say ‘I’m going to be an actress,’ in this fake posh accent that I’d learned from watching period dramas. I started playing guitar to impress a guy, but all of a sudden I was more engrossed in the guitar than the guy, and playing it became my everything. It was a big deal, because I started singing my own songs.”
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